Contemplating The Beginning Of the End


“In recollection of death; there is reward and merit”- Imam Ghazali

Seeing as this blog is now a memorial for my late friend, I would like the first blog post to this effect be a contemplation of the begining of our ends-death.

How many of us delude ourselves everyday that we are going to live for a long time? To the point where we imagine how our lives will pan out and when we are told of the possibility of dying, we are quick to dismiss the idea.

There is a concept known as Death Anxiety, (i am not sure if it is recognised as a mental illness yet). it is as it name suggests: we fear death. The thought of it makes us sad and depressed. But mainstream thought believes most of us fear death because we are not living our lives to the fullest.

You see when you are not living a meaningful life, you are letting life live you and not you living life. Contrary to popular believe, a meaningful life does not mean a grand life like that of Bill Gates’ a meaningful life is as what you make of it.

I remember one time in 2019, I asked myself this question, what are the 3 things in my life that I would regret not achieving on my death bed?

I am not sure if it was a fundamental question that came from my own consciousness but wherever it may have come from, that question made me structure my life into understanding the things that matter most to me.

Be it big or small, only you know that which you are missing out on which is within your control.

A couple of questions I got from a webinar I attended on living a life of purpose goes:

“do you have anyone in your life whom you think would pray for you if you die? Take a moment to reflect on all your relationships, whose life have you touched that would surely remember you in prayers if you die?”

I think this is powerful because ever since I lost my two friends(Maryam Hussain Umar and Abubakar Abd rahman) I have felt a sense of closeness to my Lord in the sense that I feel more inclined to pray more authentically in hope that God may have mercy on them both.

What would you like to be remembered for? What is that one thing you want people to remember you for. See yourself as a form of an experience to the people around you, channel your energy towards the kind of experiences you would like people to drive from you. think about your favourite people and how they make you feel.

Conclusively, I leave you with these questions from Hamza Tzortzis’ book, “the divine reality”:

“imagine you are here one minute and the next moment you are not. You have probably experienced loved ones that have passed away, how did you feel? Did you feel loneliness, emptiness, and lack of attachment to the things you used to take so seriously? Now if you were to taste death this instant just like every human eventually will, what would that mean to you? What would you do differently in your life if you were given the chance to go back? What thoughts and ideas would you take more seriously? What would your outlook be if you could relive your life having experienced the tragic reality of death?”

Ponder upon these questions please and feel free to share the answers with me.

wa’alaykumus salam warahmatullah wa barakatuh