Talk about bad timing? I will tell you about that. My science of wellbeing “savour the moment” teachings decided to coincide with my mother’s illness.
Just think about this, imagine, your most beloved person in the world going through what seems to be the weakest you have ever seen her be in the little 22years that you have known her. And then you cannot even run away from the thought of her dying? Why? Because
1. In the science of wellbeing, my instructor, Prof. Santos says, we ought to savour the moment, which means we should be more present in our situation. (I am pretty sure she meant that for when you are in a good place!)
But I did try to be present, despite all my fears about my mother dying, I tried to stay present with her and tried to be strong, to the point that I even learnt a lot from it.
First on my list is, during my mother’s illness I became even more aware of Allah’s mercy upon his believers.
I took it upon myself to take great care of my mother for the simple fact of the reward I hope to get from my Lord. I mean, isn’t it amazing that what ought to be naturally expected of you as a human being, you still get rewarded by your Lord over it?
The hadith on how wonderous of the Affair of a believer is kept ringing in my head. As a believer in Islam,everything you do, as long as it is allowed, you get rewarded for it. Even in grief and in sickness. I was totally in awe, and it made me love my religion more and my Lord even more.
I served my mother and even though my mother kept thanking me, I did not feel like she ought to, for I felt joyful while doing it. It was a painful moment seeing her like that, but I wouldn’t have chosen to be any other place than there, with her, in what seems to be her darkest moments.
2. Snoring is beautiful. I used to hate Snoring, I mean, I am not sure if I still hate it, but atleast i hate it less. While I was taking care of my mother at night, I would listen in on her and what allayed my worry was her snore. Yes. She did Snore and it was the most beautiful sound I ever heard(during that time) because atleast i knew she is still alive, that is why she snored.
3. Intuition: for the first time, I heard a voice inside of me. I have heard and read about people talking about voices inside of them speaking to them and I gladly heard this voice for the first time during this period and it was when I needed it the most. I had just written about how scared I was, and then a voice inside reminded me to think positively. To be optimistic. I did just that and started writing about how she would get better, by the will of Allah, and she did.
4. Caring: i can be quite caring, extra caring and responsible. I am proud of how I handled the whole situation. Despite freaking out on the inside, it seemed like I was doing okay on the surface.
5. Devil’s plotting: i learnt how the devil uses our fears to push us into going against our Lord. So the devil might tell you things like “everybody is out to harm you or hurt you, so you too should find a way to harm them” and if you fall for that, then shaitan wins. Be aware. And do not fear any being except for your Lord.
6. Being nice: being nice is underrated. Although, I was not nice during this period so I could get something in return other than the reward from my Lord, but I did get immensely rewarded for all the niceness I did during this period. I just pray that Allah accepts this from me, my family and grant us jannah by way of it.