“I am in a sea of people
But it feels a lot like I am in a puddle with just myself
I see them
But they don’t see me
And No, I am not a ghost
I am just a human whose thoughts, feelings and values do not matter”-Sayyidatul.Hurra
In her book, the atlas of the heart- Brene Brown highlighted how as humans we have a limited range of emotions
We have very few vocabulary to describe our emotional state
And the thing with limited language is well it limits your ability to fully express yourself
The theme for the Mental Health Awareness month for May was “Loneliness” And I would like to use this month of June to talk about loneliness
The feelings of loneliness is such an emotion that is seldom spoken about
even when we talk about it we say it in terms that are more palatable
sometimes we say we are bored or sad all in a bid to avoid that emotion of loneliness
somehow we dislike the idea that we could be lonely
because perhaps being lonely seems to be a sort of moral failing on our part as humans?
I don’t really know but even I, as expressive as I am, I struggle with out rightly saying to an audience or even admitting that I feel lonely
perhaps it is because I feel that as a single woman that presents herself as valuing independence
“I shouldn’t be lonely”
but there is always an assumption that lurks in such a statement
that people in a relationship are exempt from feelings of loneliness
which as my therapist highlighted is not the case
“loneliness isn’t merely about having people around, it is about having people that see and hear you”
people that value your opinion and care enough to listen
my therapist said that and that was quite enlightening to hear
such an apt description of loneliness.
Another definition of loneliness by an authority in the field of social science, John Cacioppo;
“loneliness is a perceived feelings of isolation”
if you have ever felt like you did not belong in a place or around a group of people then you have felt lonely
Being aware of feelings of loneliness is so remarkable because for me sometimes i conflate the emotion i feel with sadness
when it is actually loneliness
So as a seldom talked about emotion, I will be writing about Loneliness all through this month with the hope of raising more consciousness
I hope that as we learn to embrace and allow ourselves to feel our loneliness, we can find that we are really not alone in this feeling.
Would you like to speak to a councillor? try out this toll free number: 08008002000
to book a free therapy session: http://www.calendly.com/swwtherapysessions
Also reach out to me for any writing or social media host/presenting gig.
I can write anything from essays, to articles. sales copy. anything that has to do with stitching words together. Reach out to me via instagram (sayyidatul.hurra) and let’s do business