Hello dear. Happy new month. Wish you all the best that this month has to offer and hopefully this will mark the end of our discussion on loneliness.
Although next week, God’s willing, I will be sharing tips on how to connect more efficiently with people(all from personal experience)
1. Awareness: I feel the most important thing about being lonely is being aware of the experience. Be aware of what you feel.
2. Accept it: Don’t try to sugar coat it. I know accepting loneliness is not an easy thing. Allow yourself to feel it. It is okay to be lonely. It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. Quite frankly it proves your humanness.
3. Where is it coming from? Try and figure this out by knowing the four types of loneliness (http://maipha.com.ng/2022/06/11/which-type-of-loneliness-do-you-often-experience/)
4. Figure out what need is missing: there are 3 levels of needs:
the subconscious needs, the personality need and the tertiary needs (might be writing about this very soon). but in summary needs are the main reason why we go towards the things we do.
When you feel like interacting with people, there is a likelihood that you may have a need for connection(a subconscious need)
Your Personality needs is who you had to become to meet your subconscious needs e.g you are friendly because you have a subconscious need for connection
Tertiary needs are needs that you require daily to feel more fulfilled in your life.
5. Try to figure out how you can meet those needs without reaching out to relationships that is unhealthy to you.
Something Thais Gibson shares is for example if you have a need for affection that very moment you could wrap yourself in a blanket or light some candles so you can feel supported by your own self.
I know meeting these needs is harder for some than for others but with time it gets easier to meet.
6. Reach out to a friend or family you know can hold you in the way you want to be held.
7. if you are unable to do the above then call out a toll free number like 08008002000 to speak to a counselor or you could perhaps dive deep into what creates that barrier.
What are the thoughts or subconscious beliefs that stops you?
Might be a good place to start.
I hope you remember that each time you feel lonely and you are tempted to feel unloved, I hope you remember that a stranger(or perhaps you know me personally) thought it very important to write about this all because I love you and you matter so much to me.
To book a free therapy session: http://www.calendly.com/swwtherapysessions