1. “Uncertainty Is Reality”
When I wrote about anxiety in the month of may it came to my consciousness that what fuels anxiety most is “uncertainty”
Ever since then I have looked at anxiety differently
With more awareness of the role uncertainty plays in fueling anxiety the more peace I have come to achieve
And this peace has only been possible by way of acceptance of a line I came across from one of the Instagram pages I follow(not exactly sure which)
The saying goes
“Uncertainty is Reality”
For me, although an obvious statement it carries so much weight within it.
To deny uncertainty is to deny reality
Accepting that the whole of our lives is governed by uncertainty and so trying to fight that is akin to fighting reality makes the whole foundation that anxiety thrives on to be even more shaky because how can you be at war with reality?
There is so much you cannot know and won’t know.
Will the guy you like right now hurt you?
“I don’t know” but he could also make you happy?
He could be attentive to all of your needs?
And it is interesting also how anxiety makes us focus on the negative side of the uncertainty
it is always the bad side of uncertainty that we lean in to
Not the positive side which shows as much as it is a protective mechanism it is also a faulty one.
“Embrace uncertainty” I find myself telling myself each time I am in a frenzy
Quite frankly there is a bit of beauty in not knowing what is next and if you are on the religious side it is nice to know that whatever is going to happen then you know at least God has your back?
2. The What If
Gaining awareness of another side of anxiety which is the what if thought that also hardly ever brings up positivity is another concept that has given me so much perspective.
Earlier I requested for a need and when that need was met
I felt a part of me bringing up that “what if the need was only met so something bad could follow it?”
Understanding that the major struggles you have with anxiety mostly stems from this two concepts: “Uncertainty and What if” goes a long way in helping me tackle my anxiety
I have learnt to not engage the thoughts of “what if” that comes up
one thing I have learnt to do is to thank the thoughts
“what if my mum dies on her way back from the grocery store?”
“Thank you for that thought” and just move on with my life
What I have also come to understand is that engaging in these thoughts is what exhausts me.
And often times they are just too many and one eventually slips
As soon as something good happens you are soon overshadowed by the negative thoughts of what next and also what if
but I think the most empowerment comes from the concept of Resilience which is centred around no matter what happens be it the worst of the uncertainty and or the worst of the what if; I am going to be okay.
And I think that is also another issue. We always tend to think “what if this is the thing that crumbles me?”
“That shatters the whole of me?”
“What if this is it?” But so you thought for the calamity before and the one before it and the one before and before
You will be alright. You are more brave than you gave yourself credit for.
4 Are The thoughts Really Mine
Some of the obnoxious thoughts are not even mine to begin with.
It has to do with what I have picked up from others. from what society dictates as the norm.
It takes a lot of introspection to weed out thoughts that are truly mine and that of others.
I hope this helps you keep your anxiety at bay as it helps me.
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