How does one fully be a lover without the collateral damage of being hurt?

Maipha

Heartbreaks are easier when you don’t attach your worth to them.

Understanding and accepting that some things just don’t work out. Not because you are not good enough.

Or that the other person isn’t but that you both just were not good enough for each other.

The distance between you was just too much to bridge no matter how hard you tried.

But I still admire your courage for choosing love above all else.

At the end of every relationship, the best is to ask yourself how you showed up.

Did you give space for yourself to be your most authentic self while also holding yourself to a higher standards and also giving the other person space to also be themselves?

Did you accept your flawed self? And presented it to this person? Without having to minimise it? Or water it down for their own consumption?

While also presenting yourself as the conscious,mindful work in progress you are?

Did you hold space for their flawed self like you held space for yourself?

And even if you did not show up as this complex being. It is still okay. Atleast you know how to show up when love knocks on your door once again

It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in the theory of “I did everything right” yet it did not work out.

So easy to deny the theory when in actuality the theories never guaranteed you it was going to work.

Rather it was meant to guide you to a new awakened standard you ought to hold yourself and others by.

Sometimes the relationship wasn’t even a relationship. It was a situationship or an unrequited love

But as my break up coach said to me; “it doesn’t make your feelings any less valid.”

It doesn’t matter if you met them today and fell for them. Or you met them 10years and still fell for them.

What matters is that you are hurt. And your feelings are valid

One of the best feeling in the world is to feel heartbroken without pointing fingers at the idea of love or a particular gender or feelings of inadequacy in yourself.

You are worthy of love even though this particular person could not love you.

Knowing that love does not hurt. Or a particular gender does not hurt. Our fears, insecurities, experiences and our childhood trauma are what hurt or come between us and receiving and/or giving love is a powerful mindset to have.

And remember to not be afraid to hold on to the good parts the person made you aware of.

So run along little one. Grieve your loss but ensure to set your heart free to love again.

For I see only one loser in this earth-the one who closes his heart off to love.